Here is a sample of its superlative composition and analytical skills:
With the recent election of Pope Benedict XVI, formerly known as the kindly, shy Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, the question foremost in the minds of the faithful is: in which direction will he lead the Catholic Church?
The libertine writer Dan Brown made an incoherent attack upon the Catholic Church's ignorance of the lame ideas of 1970s hipsters.
(insert some quote from Andrew 'Randy Andy' Sullivan)
One of the most pressing problems of world religions today is whether Catholicism can change to meet the demands of the Jesus Seminar, or fade into further irrelevancy. Only psychic stock-picking chickens will be able to judge if this papacy is a success.
I believe the Papal Critique-O-Matic is destined for greatness. As the supercomputer Deep Blue destroyed the lucrative and sybaritic careers of chess grandmasters across the globe, so too will my invention render redundant those unqualified journalists who pontificate on maters ecclesial and opinionators whose knowledge of Catholicism begins with "The Exorcist" and ends with "Dogma." The function of internet comment trolls, the very creations of Satan, King of the Losers Himself, will also be rendered obsolete, and we readers shall save so much time, server cycles, and bandwith that could be spent on better things, like reading and discussing articles and arguments by people who have some idea of what they are talking about.